I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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