We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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