he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
