i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
