I just saw a hot homeless man
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sorry my hands just texted you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
