I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
