I want to stick my p in your. b.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize