Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
