only if we run a train.
done.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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