when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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