I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
