After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
