Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
