There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
