2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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