i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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