we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
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I just found puke in my bra..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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