roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
