Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
