Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
