Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
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This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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