I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
