Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize