That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
another moral hangover. fuck.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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