You're my little dorito
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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