'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
