i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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