you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
