Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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