so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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