Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
