You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
wanna go halves on a baby?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
