I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
