Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
A bitchslap is in order.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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