I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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