I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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