you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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