so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
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Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
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Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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