oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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