I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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