she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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