I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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