Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
