Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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