He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
