my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
