Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
