we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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