"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I know her cup size but not her name....
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
