yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
