I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
