Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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