Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
