I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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