She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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