remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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