So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
