none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This is classic penis vs brain.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
