im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
