I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Welp...herpes.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
