AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
