i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
