Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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