Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
