Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
